A Software Engineer's Life
A software engineer(P1) receives a call, picks it up and the person on the other end(P2) asks in a hurry:
Hello,
Why weren't you picking up the call?Is everything alright?"
P1: "what alright.. noting is alright.. see the time.. it's 11pm..and i have just now reached my room from office and there is nothing to eat.
From the past 3 days, I have been eating only maggie... and my Project Manager(PM) as been eating up my mind.
And my salary;I think the begger in front of my office earns more than me.
what should I do?"
P2: what are you talking?
P1:"what am i talking???? no, I'm not talking.. Manager don't allow anyone to
talk except the client.. who always talks something.. from past 3 months
I haven't taken any leave..now since past 3 weeks.. I have been begging for one damn
leave.. and wat response did i get....'why do you want to waste an important day of
your life??'
i now finalize one more time... yes..i'm gonna quit this job...
but, i can't.
no, i can.. but i wont..uhhhh..."
P2:"ok.. now Relax..."
P1:"How can i relax... for relaxation people do yoga in the morning, but it's night and so i can't.
Or else, they watch movies... but see, on every channel all bogus
movies are being repeated, same.. 'Welcome', 'Suryavansham', Govinda's movies...
it really irritates... everyone is faking on TV, fake news, fake
stories, fake swaynwars, fake reality...ah see the movies you will get to
know... In "Rock-on" last scene... Arjun Rampal's wife says to taxi
driver, that "hurry up, we r getting late for Airport..." Airport...??? I
dont understand, he was going to find a job on a Cruise and suddenly airport???
In 3 Idiots... Kareena is a doctor.. that too a surgeon.. to become a
surgeon, it requires atleast 5[MBBS]+3[MS] years.
so she should have been be 28... and Aamir as an engineering student.. only 18 or 20 ?? then after
10 years they decide to marry..which means she should have been 38 by then??
P2:"hey stop now.."
P1:"am I a train who will stop, whenever you pull its chain...ohh train.. I didn't see one in past 3 months... how would i see
?
All the time, monitor is in front of me.. even at night when I open my
eyes, I find my username and password window..
I need to cool down..
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
but someone tell me how???
All the time there is a powercut here, except when i'm not at home.. home?? what rubbish,it's a single room, where i'm living alone with my pillow.
I also want a girlfriend yaar, like my school mates have..
smita, rashmi, priti, sruti, madhu.. anyone from my trainee batch would do, but they
all are engaged, you know why ?
B'coz their boyfriends do not work in IT companies, some girls do have
chat with me but only on my salary day.
I got rejected 31 times.. you know why ?? each time I proposed a girl,they asked
where do i live..and.
I said in my Cubicle.. B'coz that's the only place you can find my soul all
the time.."
P2:"hey man, you better take rest, we will talk in Morning"
P1:" Morning??are u talking about the same thing when.. the sun rises, birds fly,
and employees cry... damn , i haven't seen the sun since 3 years.
I dont understnd how can the PM be so nice to my colleagues.
Each time they want leave, they repeat the same old dialogues... "my
sister's marriage"..one of my colleagues' 9 sisters got married,
3 times his grandpa has expired,
5 times a friend of his has went to ICU.
Then my pm's motivational speech.. 'if you work..you will grow'. does that mean if i don't
work, i will shrink??
when I need a hike, I'm a junior who still needs to grow.. and when I do mistakes..
"'come on man, you are a senior now, you can not do mistakes..' ahhh God gimme some
power to understand the greatness of a super natural person known as PM
in this world.."
P2: "ok enough now, i'm disconnecting"
P1:"wait...you know previously i was
normal, when i was in college, i used to talk continuosly about whatever i
wanted, now i talk only limited things such as: 'ya it's done', 'that work is
completed', 'Please..', 'Good Morning','Lunch','Tea','Snacks
'..
I dont know what i talk about, i should be happy that i have saturday n
sunday..
but Saturday gets wasted to recover from the disaster been made from monday to friday..
And, Sunday to think about upcoming disaster from monday to friday.. cool
naa..
you heard that in 2012 earth will end?? even then, my cubicle
will remain as it is..yo u know why ??
because that's not a part of earth.. n we employees are not human
beings... we are aliens, so better before you start getting a headache... go
have a nice sleep.. I will again start my day tomorrow like I ave been doing it since i graduated.
good night..."
beeeeeeeeep...beeeeeeeeeep...b
eeeeeeeeeep
******************************
****************************
Next Day, in office:-
Manager: "Dude, Please come here"
"Yes sir.....!!"
M: "I approved your leaves.. i think you should go and have some fun"
The engineer came out of the office happily, and suddenly checked out his call logs and was shocked to see that last night the call was from his P.M.
